Cowardly

Maybe I don’t have that courage,

the kind it takes to suffer with a smile, the kind it takes to keep up the facade of I’m okay,

I’m okay if you leave me. I’m okay if you can no longer handle the bite of my words despite the softness, the warmth of my hands,

my eyes. Eyes always on you, always looking for you, always loving you. Maybe I’m not

strong enough to continue the game of chess my mind plays with my heart, the irrationality of my mind winning every time.

Maybe I’m not brave enough to tell you the things I say to myself in my sleep, the things I say when I’m alone, when I’m working, when I do anything. Maybe

you wouldn’t understand. You can only understand the hurt and stress I unintentionally throw into your life.

Yes, I’m a mess. I’m a mess but I love you. And my love, I see it, I can see your patience has run clear out but please, please

don’t you dare leave me here with myself.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s