Meet my nephew, best friend, and whole world, Elli. He’s turning 2 in December, and he’s already the size of a 3-year-old. I love him more than anything in the world. He said my name for the first time, well he really said Hewwey but I’ll take it. His eyes light up when he sees me, he gets this great big smile and reaches out for me. That’s what I want more than anything in this life. For someone to love that much, it’s just amazing.
Something changes when we grow up. Our hearts become harder, we don’t let ourselves love the way we used to as children. That’s why it’s so hard for me to see my nieces and nephews love the way they do, knowing something is bound to change. Someday, someone is going to break their hearts.
I imagine something like this is the reason the man I love is the way he is. His actions and words don’t match. He loves me, he loves me not. Everyone is hurting inside, he told me. Everyone has a reason they act the way they do. My heart was already broken when he said that, I was broken. We’re still together, somehow. We hurt together, but I think we’re slowly healing together. That’s all we can hope for.